


Moments

by BustyWritesStuff



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: (The Joker is just mentioned), F/F, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:23:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustyWritesStuff/pseuds/BustyWritesStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt on Tumblr.</p>
<p>A one-shot in which Harley scrapes the bottom of the barrel and drags Eddie, Jonathan and Jervis out with her to go clothes shopping. <br/>Things go about as well as they could expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DittyWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/gifts).



This was hell. Absolutely Hell. And Edward knew hell, he'd spent more time in Arkham Asylum than he'd care to admit. But right at this moment, he'd happily go another round of absolutely useless therapy under the wonderfully demented watch of Hugo Strange than spend another minute in this hell-hole that called itself a 'Clothing Store'.

Why Harley had felt the need to drag them along on this little trip was beyond even a mind such as his. He'd rather die than admit it, but sometimes that girl really did manage to leave him stumped.

 

“ _Harley, can I ask you something? Why exactly are we here?”_ Edward asked impatiently as he continued to burn holes into the back of his female companions head while she innocently browsed the clothing racks surrounding them, blissfully unaware of the murderous grimace Edward was throwing her way.

“ _Harley? Harley?”_ He said blunter than necessary as in front of him, Harley continued to completely ignore him. After what seemed like an eternity of being ignored, Edward rolled his eyes and turned towards the two other Rogues standing behind him, both of whom looked even more nonplussed about their current activities than even he was, which was saying something.

 

“ _Okay then. Since it seems that Ms. Quinn is far too wrapped up in her precious 'Retail Therapy' to bother with common courtesy, Do any of you two happen to know the answer as to why we're here?”_ Edward asked, irritation overwhelming the smugness that usually made itself home in his tone.

“ _Begin at the beginning, and go on until you come to the end. Then stop.”_ Jervis sang whimsically as he eyed up a tall looking blonde across the store.

“ _Nicely put Jervis. You know how much Edward loves it when you speak in nothing but quotations...”_ Jonathan congratulated the Pint-Sized Madman with a sneer as he poked through a pile of dark brown shirts with his long, spindly fingers.

“ _It is better to be feared than loved.”_ Jervis concluded with a nod as he skittered off across the floor and begun heading straight towards the blonde haired woman and her group of friends.

 

“ _Honestly Jon, what do you see in him?”_ Edward asked dryly, not even trying to be polite at this point as he watched Jervis continue on through the store with narrowed eyes.

“ _In case you haven't noticed Edward, Jervis and I have a lot in common. We both have a great love of classic literature, we share Tailors, we've bunked together at Arkham more than once. Oh, and he makes an absolutely delightful cup of tea... when he isn't spiking it of course.”_ Jonathan replied with a throaty laugh as he picked one of the brown shirts up off the shelving and placed it down neatly over his left arm.

“ _Oh right, one of those 'Were all mad here' mentalities then, yes?”_ Edward spat back with a sneer while Jon merely shrugged his bony shoulders in response.

“ _Something like that...”_

 

Before Edwards impromptu interrogation could continue though, Harley came bounding back across the heaving shop floor with an uncomfortably wide grin on her face and two large baskets filled with clothes inside them held tightly in either hand.

“ _Hmm. I thought you said you only had to get one or two things?”_ Edward asked with a raised eyebrow.

“ _And I thought I said if you were going to complain then you shouldn't come?”_ Harley replied far to sweetly for her own good while Jonathan barked out a hoarse laugh somewhere behind Edward. He'd pay for that later.

Feeling his cheeks beginning to turn a dark shade of crimson, Edward did his best to push down the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and tried to cover it with his own one special brand of trademark 'Smugness'. That usually did the trick.

“ _Oh come now Harley. Don't be like that. I just wondered why you decided to drag us along on this little outing? That said, if the question's too hard for you, well...”_ Edward said as in front of him, Quinn looked him up and down with a clearly unimpressed look on her face.

“ _Well for your information I asked almost everyone else before I decided to ask you. I asked Red, but she said she was busy. Selina said the same thing Hell, even Mistah J said he was busy for goodness sake. Eventually I asked Johnny, who happily agreed to come with me. To be fair, I didn't know he was bringing you two along too...”_ Harely explained with a shrug as she held up two tiny t-shirts for display, one with a bedazlled pink 'Batman' logo and one with the iconic 'Wonder Woman' logo on the other. _“Now, which one do ya prefer? Be honest with me.”_

 

“ _I'm going to try and not be offended that I was you last resort Harleen...”_ Jon added bitterly while Edward looked down towards Quinn with shock written all over his face

“ _Ignore him. What do you mean you asked The Joker? He's alive?”_ Edward asked, feeling that all too familiar feeling of dread creeping back into his system at the mere mention of the Clown Prince of Crime.

“ _Yeah, he's alive. Said he's laying low for a while, which seems to be working since not even the almighty Riddler knew he was back on the scene”_ Harley replied _“But nah, Mistah J was busy. Shame, it would have been real nice to have seen him...”_

“ _Forgive my nosiness, but does Pamela know you're in contact with the Clown?”_ Jonathan asked, his attention now fixed firmly onto the bubbling blonde standing across the isle from him. _“I mean, You know how she can be Harleen...”_

“ _'Course she knows. Red ain't too happy about it, but she knows. She said she's trusts me enough to talk to him without falling into... eh... old habits?”_ She said timidly while both Jonathan and Edward shared a knowing glance between them.

“ _That sounds...”_ Jonathan started.

“ _Oddly reasonable... of Pam, I mean.”_ Edward finished.

“ _Yeah, ever since we went 'exclusive' Red's been much more agreeable to stuff like that. She's a real sweetie when she wants to be.”_ Harley sighed contently while Jonathan and Eddie shared another glance. Deciding that this conversation was bound to lead somewhere where neither of them were comfortable going, Edward heaved out a tired sounding sigh and pointed towards the bedazzled pink Batman shirt still clasped firmly in Harley's hands.

“ _Ju... just go with the pink one”_

Harley couldn't help but squee with excitement as she dropped both of the shirts down onto the floor and bound across towards Edward, wrapping her surprisingly strong arms around his torso and pulling the taller male into a tight hug.

“ _Ahh Mistah E, you're the best!”_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

Around 2 hours later, Harley had finally selected a few bits and pieces (read as: 3 baskets full) and they had finally made their way over to the overly long line at the registers to pay. Edward had decided pretty early on that nothing in this shop was really for 'him', while Jonathan had apparently thrown caution to the wind and was currently standing with the brown shirt, a gaudy yellow tie and a pair of obscenely tiny cotton shorts folded neatly over his arm.

“ _Honestly Jon, I'd have never of pegged you as a Short-Shorts kind of guy.”_ Edward said as he gestured towards the shorts across his partners arm.

“ _Do you know how warm it's getting in my Laboratory Edward? And what can I say, I'd be willing to bet that there is a whole list of things you don't know about me...”_ Jonathan replied instantly.

“ _Is that a bet my dear Johnny? You do know I know absolutely everything, right?”_ Edward retorted smugly, earning himself a sharp jab in the side from his lovers bony elbow.

“ _Enough of that nonsense...”_ Jonathan said as his eyes begun to scan across the wide expanse of store laid out all around them. _“On a completely un-releated note, has anyone seen Jervis?”_

 

Cutting their conversation short and leaving Jonathan alone on his quest to find his pain-in-the-ass friend, Edward turned his head forward and lightly nudged Harley on the shoulder.

“ _Forgive me for re-treading a tired subject, but I can't help but feel a little offended that you reached out to The Joker before you asked us Harley.”_ Edward started while Quinn turned her body around to face him. _“I mean, I understand that we aren't exactly the closest, but surely we treat you better than he ever did?”_

“ _Y'know... It's complicated to say the least Eddie. Mistah J really treated me terribly, and I can see that now. But there were... there were moments when I'd get to glimpse past his shell and get to peak into who he really... well, who he used to be, anyway. Moments like that are what made me stay. He wasn't that bad to me... not always anyway...”_ Harley said, her tone drifting off and becoming more contemplative and forlorn as she spoke.

Before her, Edward pulled a face and rubbed his forearm uncomfortably. Reading social cues was never his forte, and right now he didn't know whether to comfort the girl, change the subject or hell, even just walk away and deal with it some other time. With much less confidence than he was used to, Edwards opened his mouth to say something back to the blonde before her effervescent smile once again surfaced on her soft delicate features.

 

“ _Plus, say what you like about him, but Mistah J was a snazzy dresser.”_ Harley added with a definitive nod as she looked up into Edwards eyes with an infectious happiness radiating from her pale blue hues.

“ _I... uh... You've got a point there. I'll let you have that one.”_ Edward replied with satisfied smirk, deciding to simply let this conversation go. Plus she was right, the Clown always did look well-dressed, when he wasn't covered in blood, acid or gore that was anyway.

Besides, if nothing else Edward knew when enough was enough and while he'd be the first to admit that he liked to push peoples buttons, using that delicate subject as ammo for his little mind-games was a new low not even the almighty Riddler was willing sink down to.

 

After a few more minutes of mindless chatter, the three Rogues attention was snatched off of each other and drawn towards some god awful commotion from across the store.

Currently being held in the air by either arm by two impossibly burly looking security guard, Jervis was being dragged off of the shop floor and into the back room kicking and screaming. Currently sporting what looked like a broken nose, a black eye and a burst lip, it looked as though Jervis had been through the ringer.

“ _But I don't want to go among the mad people!”_ Jervis screeched furiously as he threw his weight around in the guards arms, desperately trying to free himself from their grasp. _“How do you know I'm mad?! STUFF AND NONSENSE!”_

“ _You tried to abduct that girl in broad daylight ya fuckin' kook!”_ Bellowed one of the guards as he tightened his grip around the hatter's dirty wrists.

“ _Anway, the Commissioner will be here soon enough, so save your shit for him eh?”_ Said the other guard as they barrelled through the doors leading into the back of the store, much to Jervis's dismay.

 

“ _Uh, should we help him?”_ Harley asked, turning towards Edward and Jonathan will a conflicted look on her face.

“ _We really should... but we've been in this line for close to Twenty Minutes now, and I'll be damned if I'm moving now.”_ Jonathan finally added with a dismissive shrug as he turned his body around from the scene Jervis had caused and back towards the ever-shrinking queue before them.

“ _In the words of the great Lewis Carroll himself, 'If everyone minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does'”_ Edward added smugly.

“ _Oh for god sake Edward, you're worse than Jervis...”_ Jonathan said with a muffled chuckle while Harley begun giggling furiously to herself just a few inches in front of them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My second time writing Scriddler, curse you AcapellaDitty/DittyWritesStuff for sending me prompts.
> 
> Also, I doubt it came across that way, but I feel i should elaborate on what i was getting at when Harley was speaking about The Joker. It was either Bruce Timm or Paul Dini who said ''Everyone has seen The Joker laugh, but only Harley has seen him cry'' and that was what i was trying to get at. She is aware she was being abused and has moved on from The Joker completely (and she's now with Pam, which isn't plain sailing either in my opinion), but she can't help but remember the good times, as few and far between as they were.  
> I am in no way trying to justify The Joker's abuse, nor say Harley deserved/welcomed it, just that in her mind those tiny moments almost made up for the horrors she lived through, as odd as that sounds. Although i do feel that quote from Harley's creators sums up her attitude towards J pretty well.
> 
> Anyway, I'm done ranting. Thanks for reading! If you could leave Kudos/Feedback then that'd be greatly appreciated. It's such a cliche, but a little support really does go a long way.
> 
> My Tumblr is TheBustyStClair.tumblr.com so feel free to leave me a message there if you'd prefer.


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